my parents and i were out just around cuz i didnt wanna go home. we get home, and i check the answering machine / cid and my uncle mike had called like 3 times in a row within 2 minutes. the message was from him too. apparently my aunt doris was hospitalized yesterday because she was having ceasures.
my uncle sounds like he hates my dad.
my grandma has alzheimers and is deteriorating fast.
my goddamn dog is losing his mind too.
i just dont get it. imnot close to these people. i havnt talked to most of them in a long time. I wonder if any of them even know who i am anymore. last year for my birthday, i remember waiting for the mail for awhile hoping that id get a birthday card from someone, and i didnt. and it kinda hurt. and i used to be close to them.
you know its kinda like my past dying slowly. a piece of me, my history, my life just ebbing away from me into nothingness. and i dont want it to happen. i dont want them to die. i awnt them to know me. i want to know them. i dont want them to hate me. i dont want them to die.
i dnot want my dad to hurt. i wish he would try and maintain contact, as tough as it is. god i just...uhg
i need a hug